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Search Results 0 to 10 of about 11 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Nov 14, 2012 11:30pm PST
of heat lately. you destroy the global economy once and everyone forgets all the times you didn't destroy it. (laughter) plus our finance sector is much safer now because wall street has removed the weakest link-- man. >> for 150 years, the floor of 2 t change was the center of the financial world. but less than 30% of the trading is conducted here now and the specialists in the noise of the floor is being replaced by the speed and quiet efficiency of computers. >> stephen: though humans still play an important role-- as seen here as goldman sachs. (laughter) now, folks, superfast computers are necessary for something called high frequency trading or h.f.t. or hft" the sound of your pension evaporating. computers can move millions of shares around in minutes earning a tenth of a penny off each share. that adds up to serious money when they finally take it down to the wall street coinstar. (laughter) and once the computer has a trading strategy or algorithm it makes money just by churning the same formula over and over again. like maroon 5. (laughter) (cheers and applause) and even simple
Comedy Central
Nov 8, 2012 11:30pm PST
waeninged economy the nations art funding is at an all-time low. leaving many americans to ask who cares. but here in new york's capital of arts and culture. >> an amazing discovery. >> there is concern because an albany arts institution is under attack and only one man can save it. >> i feel that all art needs to be protected. this is about the rights of the american people. i believe in the constitution. i believe in our country and what our forefathers set forth for us. >> which is life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. in other words,. >> fully nude, exotic entertainment. >> he is a patron of the art of exotic dance. >> i'm the owner of night moves. >> and you, steven dick, jr., wait, certificate quussly, step endick is your name. >> my real name. >> stephen: all right then, you, steven dick is are a difference maker. (cheers and applause) for years this dick has been providing albany cultural enrichment through his dance theatre night moves. >> i am the last remaining all nude club in albany. >> stephen: but now the community may lose this treasured institution. because new yor
Comedy Central
Nov 13, 2012 11:30pm PST
because it's a long shot in in this economy any job is a pipe dream. (laughter) ask yourself this: what's more likely, that you'll eat a poisoned apple and awake to the kiss of a charming prince or that your english degree will land you a second interview with staples? (laughter and applause) either way you're going to share an apartment with seven roommates. (laughter) so what does justice sotomayor think is a good career. i'll give you one guess. >> do you have a car rear? >> yes, i do. i am a united states supreme court justice. >> okay. than i know what a rear that i want to have. >> what's that? >> career! order in the court! >> oh, abbey, i think you'll make a great, great judge. >> sure, tell little girls to become supreme court justices. never mind that in the court's 220 year history only four women have reached the bench. meanwhile, eight different american women have married princes. (cheers and applause) and that is not even including the eight women who married larry king. (laughter) dare to dream, little girls. (laughter) besides the job of princess and supreme court justi
Search Results 0 to 10 of about 11 (some duplicates have been removed)